Forever and Always
by BigTimeRusherr13
Summary: When James gets involved in a terrible accident, Kendall goes to all lengths just to make him happy. When the beeps are getting too slow, Kendall's time becomes limited and finds the one solution to see James' smile once more. Kames OneShot inspired by the song 'Forever and Always' by Parachute.


_Hello my lovely readers! I wasn't planning to to do a one shot today but this idea came to me when I woke up this morning and I thought 'Why not?' and the ever so lovely ValenSchmidt asked for a Kames one so here it is! _

_I should give you fair warning; you may cry!_

_Now..On with the story!_

"_**Death ends life, not a relationship" **_

_**-Jack Lemmon**_

I looked at my watch for what seemed like the millionth time since I sat down. I looked to the door of the restaurant hoping to see perfectly styled chestnut hair and his hazel eyes. Again, I was disappointed when the door didn't open.

He should have been here an hour and a half ago so why isn't he here? This was supposed to be our two year anniversary and his ruining it. He was the one who told me to dress up in a stupid suit and come to this fancy restaurant even though he knows I'd rather go to KFC and then a basketball game. So he should at least have the decency to show up on time. Or at least call.

I tried calling my mom, Logan, Carlos and Katie and they said none of them has seen him. I even tried calling Gustavo, our record producer from when we were Big Time Rush which just resulted in me getting yelled out for worrying too much about my boyfriend.

I had finally given up waiting for him and signalled the waiter to bring me the cheque. He came back all too quickly and I paid for the bottle of wine I managed to go through while I waited. I walked out the restaurant and ignored the woman who whispered to her husband about how I got stood up. James is in for all sorts of hell when I see him.

I got in my car and as soon as I shut the door, my phone started to ring. I pulled it out of my pocket as I muttered "that better be you James." I pulled the phone to my ear, not bothering to look at the caller I.D. "Hello?"

"Kendall?" My mom's voice came through the phone. Her voice sounded raspy, like she had just been crying. Why would she be crying?

"Mom? Is everything okay?" I asked, frantically.

"You need to come to the hospital. J-James-" She was cut off by her own tears and just hearing his name alone sent instant panic through my body.

"What's wrong with James?" I asked, hoping nothing too serious. But of course it's serious, she wouldn't be crying over a sprained ankle.

"Just get here." She said through her cries.

"I'm on my way." I said, quickly hanging up. I put the key in the ignition and started the car, not bothering to take notice of the detail like how the engine usually makes a loud noise or the fact that the 'check engine' light was on.

As I drove away form the restaurant and to the hospital, my mind raced back the December. Well, January really. It was new year's eve, the night everything changed.

**Los Angeles, New Years Eve, Two Years Ago **

"_So Kendall," Carlos said as he sat on the sofa next to me. The boys and I decided to celebrate our first new year after Big Time Rush broke up by having a big party in the crib. We were all moving out in our different apartments within the next week so it was sort of like a goodbye party. "Any new years resolutions?"_

"_Not a one." I grinned. I noticed the beer in his hands and wondered how much he has had to drink to night. He seemed more... Vibrant that usual. "What about you Carlo?"_

"_Nada." He said, taking a sip of his beer. I couldn't help but chuckle at how ridiculous he could be. I looked down at my watch, wanting to know how long until the countdown and saw it was 11:54pm. I thought about finding someone to kiss when the clock stroke midnight, when everyone cheered and fireworks went off. But I was the only gay at the party so I didn't see that happening any time soon._

"_Hey Kendall," I looked up and saw James looking just a little bit nervous which was weird considering he was James._

"_Hey man." I smiled up at him._

"_Can I talk to you? Some place a little more quiet?" He asked with a small smile and a hint of hope in his hazel eyes._

"_Sure." I said, standing up before quickly turning to the drunk on the sofa, "I'll see you later Carlos."_

_I followed James to wherever he was taking me which just so happened to be the roof of the palm woods. He walked me right over to the edge of the building and leaned on the little wall which stopped us from falling. I looked out at the city where a party was seen everywhere. The skies were clear, not a cloud in the sky. Just the stars and the moon which will soon be outshone by the colourful fireworks to celebrate the new year._

_I looked down at my watch again and saw it was 11:58 but quickly changed to 11:59. Time is ticking._

"_Okay, I haven't got a lot of time until midnight so this needs to be said fast." James said quickly turning to me._

"_Say what?" I asked, confused to why James' was voice sounded so shaky, to why his demeanour seemed so different._

"_When it's midnight, I'm going to kiss you and then I'm going to ask you on a date." He said, no hesitation in his voice, like it was the most casual thing in the world. I was a totally shocked by his statement, who knew that James Diamond was gay. It was only yesterday he was hitting on that blonde girl, the girl Logan said could look like my sister because we look so much alike. I guess that makes a little sense to why he prefers blondes..I think?_

"_A-are you serious right now?" I asked, after a couple of seconds of complete shock._

"_Dead serious." He said with a nod._

"_But I-" I was cut off when I could suddenly hear people counting down from 10._

"_No turning back now." James whispered to himself most likely._

_9._

"_James, you can't be serious."_

_8._

"_I am serious Kendall," 7. "I'm being serious when I say I like you." 6. "And I have liked you for months now."_

_5._

"_Then why didn't you say anything?"_

_4._

"_Because," James said stepped closer to me with a gulp._

_3._

_He looked from my eyes to my lips then back to my eyes._

_2._

_He quickly cupped my cheek with his hand._

_1._

_Then he crashed his lips with mine. I never heard the fireworks, I never heard the people cheer 'Happy New Year'. In fact, everything stayed silent as James and I shared a deep kiss. His lips were soft and tasted like beer and vodka, making me drunk on this one kiss._

_Sadly, the kiss ended when he pulled away with a content sigh. He stepped back with a grin on his face. "So, how about dinner and a movie Friday night?"_

**Present day.**

The memory of that night and the thought of James being hurt forced a lone tear to escape and run down my cheek. Finally, I pulled up to the hospital and speed walked inside. I couldn't see my mom or anyone else, so I assumed they already went to see him. I walked up to the front desk where I friendly looking lady sat in front of a computer. She had mousy features, small noise, dark eyes and buck teeth and she kept her ginger hair tied in a high pony tail.

"Excuse me, miss?" I said and she looked up with a smile. "I'm looking for, er, James Diamond. What room is he in?"

"Are you family?" She said, her mousy voice matching her look.

"Y-Yeah." I stuttered.

"Okay, er, Randy." She called, looking behind me. I turned and saw a male nurse walk towards us. "Could you show this man to where James Diamond's room is?" She asked. He looked at me with sympathetic eyes and a sad smile.

"Sure. Follow me." He said as he walked off. I followed him, noticing how nervous and scared I had become. What if it's severe? What if he is seriously hurt?

"D-do you know what happened?" I stammered, needing to know why my boyfriend was in the hospital.

"Yeah," he breathed. "James was in a car accident not too long ago. A drunk driver hit the side of the car James was on."

I large lump formed in my throat and it was suddenly hard to breathe. The halls seemed to be closing in on me, getting smaller and smaller. "Is he going to be okay?" I managed to choke out. He looked at me, forcing a sad smile then looked back ahead. That gave me my answer. James was not going to be all right. I looked through the window of the door we just passed and saw a married couple arguing while their teenage son rolled his eyes at them. I chose to ignore them and turned back to nurse Randy. "Is he going to survive?" I asked, hoping to get a straight forward 'yes' or 'no' answer.

Instead of answering, he stopped in front of a door and opened it up for me with another one of his famous sad smiles. I looked at him for a second before walking into the room. Everyone was there; My mom, Katie, Carlos and Logan. But eyes were glued to the broken man I love in that hospital bed. His hazel eyes locked with my green ones. His body was covered in cuts a bruises and his eyes seemed almost lifeless. He was attached to all these different machines and had a breathing tube in his nose. Beeps could be heard from a heart monitor and they seemed to be going slow.

"Hey." I said with a shaky breath which brought a smile out of James.

"Hey." His voice was quiet and raspy and so...Not James. That's when I broke down. I ran over to his side and pulled him into a tight hug as I cried. I felt him weakly run his hands through my hair because he knows that always calms me down when I cry.

"We're going to leave you guys alone to talk." Logan said awkwardly. I could just faintly hear movement over my cries and then a door closed. I took in a deep breath, trying to get a grip of myself and moved out of James' grip, sitting in the chair next to his bed.

"Are you okay?" James' broken voice said as I gripped his hand tightly.

"Are _you_?" He nodded silently.

"I'm sorry about ruining our anniversary." He said after the short silence.

"Don't you dare apologise." I told him, trying to sound as stern as I could through my tears. "This is not your fault."

"We shouldn't be here." James said as a single tear ran down his cheek. "We're supposed to be celebrating, planning our-"

"Planning?" I asked, confused. "Planning for what?"

He let out a small sob before saying "I was going to propose to you tonight." My heart broke when he said those words. To think, we could have been drinking champagne, talking about our wedding. "And now, the doctors say I'm probably not going to see tomorrow." He cried as he looked up at the ceiling.

"No, no." I quickly said, gripping his hand with both my hands and leaning closer to him. "Look at me James." I begged and he shook his head. "James look at me." He turned his head slightly and looked at me with tear filled eyes. "Ask me. Ask me to marry you." He shook his head again and looked back up to the ceiling. "Ask me, James." I pleaded as I pulled my grip on his hands to my chest. He looked at me with a small nod.

"Marry me?" His voice was small and broken. It hurt to see how much he didn't sound like himself.

"Yes, James. Yes I will marry you." I told him and he smiled through his tears and so did I. "Don't listen to those doctors who said you won't see tomorrow. Because we're going to to have a future, James." He nodded.

…

"We're not going to name our kids James Jr or Jamie." I laughed. It was 3am and we were all -Except my mom and Katie because they had to get home, Katie had school tomorrow and she had a big test- in James' room, soaking up however long we have left with him. Just a few hours ago, James' doctor pulled us and told us it's very unlikely that he'll live through this accident. His heart was failing. None of us have told James yet because we just couldn't get the words out..

"Why not? Those are very good names!" James argued. Instead of telling James that he could possibly die throughout the night, I wanted to keep him talking about our future, to keep him happy.

"Those are stupid names for your children James." Carlos joked, making James roll his eyes.

"You're stupid." James muttered under his breath. That's when I noticed the heart monitor's beeps getting slower and James' breaths getting shallower. "Kendall?" James tightened his grip on my hand.

"Yeah?" I choked out, suddenly getting worried.

"Want to know a secret?" He said, forcing a smile, I nodded. "I heard what you and the doctor was talking about. All this talk of having kids, and growing old together; it's just talk, isn't it? We're never going to get married, are we?"

"Yes we are." I told him without a hint of hesitation in my voice.

"But I heard what the doc-"

"Screw what the doctor says, we're going to get married. In fact, we're going to get married now." I said standing up.

"Wait, what are you-"

"Logan," I said interrupting James, "Could you call up the chapel and ask someone to get here as soon as possible?"

"Sure." Logan said, pulling out his phone.

"I'll be right back." I said as I was about to leave the room but stopped when James didn't let go of my hand, only tightened his grip a little more.

"Kendall, tell me what are you up to? I'm not going to marry you here, while I'm in a hospital bed." He said.

"We might not get another chance. I love you James and like I said, I'm going to marry someday. It turns out someday is today." He nodded as he let go of my hand. "Carlos, call the nurses." I told him as I left the room. I walked down the hall and knocked on the door where I remember seeing a couple arguing. No one responded but all I could hear was yelling. I opened the door and took a step inside and two infuriated faces looked towards me.

The blonde woman looked as though she was ready to bite my head off whereas the brunette male just looked fed up with all the fighting. "What?" They both yelled.

"I was wondering if you had a couple of rings I could borrow?" I asked rather sheepishly.

"Sure." The woman said, almost yelling. She looked towards the man as she pulled off her wedding ring. She gave him a smug look as she walked over to me, pulled my wrist up and slammed the ring in my hand.

"Here!" The man yelled as he copied her move but didn't slam the ring in my hand this time. I probably just helped ruin a family but at the moment, I couldn't care less. I'll feel guilty another time. I smiled and offered a small thanks and I rushed back to James' room. Already, there were two nurses and some guy who looks like he hasn't slept for two days.

"Hey," Logan said as he walked over to me, "no one at the church or chapel were answering so I was going to go out and ask around the hospital to see if anyone is ordained and I ran into this guy." Logan explained and gestured to the dark haired man talking to James. "He's name is Michael and he agreed to marry you guys you have to be quick though because he has to get back to his daughter."

"Okay, thanks." I said with a small smile as I walked over to James. I introduced myself to Michael and he seemed like a nice guy. I told him how grateful I was for doing this for us and he said it was his pleasure.

"Where did you go?" James asked once I finished talking to Michael. I held up the rings as I sat on the chair next to him.

"We can't get married without some rings, silly." I grinned and caused him to smile. I'm going to miss that smile.

"Alrighty," Michael said, clapping his hands together and caused everyone to quiet down. "Let's get this show on the road." I held James' hand and looked into his perfect hazel eyes which seemed to have to have lost their shine. I tried to listen to what Michael was saying but I just couldn't stop thinking about all the first times James and I have had and will never have again. From our first kiss, to our first time making love. From the time we talked about getting married to actually living in the moment right here, right now.

It was time to say our vowels and I slipped one of the rings on James' finger as I said "It's strange to think that just over two years ago, I thought we were best friends and nothing more. And now look at us." A lump in my throat forced my voice to crack as silent tears streamed down my cheeks. "I love you James. And nothing and no one is going to change that. It will always be you."

James nodded as a lone tear slid down his unusually pale cheek. The beeps were getting to slow. He took the ring out of my hand and slid it on my finger, his voice was almost too low as he said "Don't forget me. And though I'm not going to be there for you, please just remember that I'll always love you. Forever and always." His hand fell out of mine as the beeps stopped._ Flat line._

_Omg I actually cried writing that...I don't usually cry writing stories but this made me cry. I feel bad for killing James but I've read stories before where they die so it's all good!_

_Why don't you be lovely and review so I know whether or not this is good? :)_


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